but that's about to change.
i've mostly taken to reading & reading & eating & sitting in the passenger seat & listening & dreaming. having my dreams stolen. this happens in many ways & sometimes i can still keep them & other times i can't.
it's true that i have never been one much for change. i am not a very good traveller. sometimes i get carsick. vertigo. i have overwhelming fits of nostalgia. despite getting very excited about new things & being quick to understand new concepts & learn everything, when it comes to executing big changes, i tend to bristle a bit.
this move is sort of one of those things. i am very excited about it & it is only good news all around & when i am in the apartment i am in love with the space & with everything & i love feeling like i am in love with everything! but the getting there is not easy. i still have not slept a night in the new place for many different reasons all one after another, some of which in & others out of my control. i am in fact writing this from another state entirely.
& i know this is meant to be a design blog & i am getting to that. i am talking about change & how sometimes what seems like it should be a seamless transition is full of stitches that have to be ripped out & re-sewn like eight times before you get it right. sometimes you have to try a thing on inside-out & pin it so it fits better & then do it again. these are metaphors but they are also not.
a few weeks ago already i had a lengthy conversation with someone i respect & admire a lot. the topic came around to evolution & i wondered a lot of things but ultimately came back to my view of life in general, which is: who am i to say that what someone else thinks is any more or less valid than what i think? we could all be wrong. i don't know. the opposition [if i can even call it that; it was far friendlier] made the point that it's detrimental to refuse to accept things that are proven & fact & science & knowledge. it's detrimental to deny things that are fundamentally sound. & it's far more detrimental to deny others the right to believe what they want to believe [which of course i agreed with].
the other day, i read this article in the new york times about gravity & how this one scientist has set out to redefine gravity.
i thought a lot about the conversation i'd had in this light, trying to see how one refusal of belief can be so controversial & negative & how another can be enlightened & exciting & full of discovery. & that was really the key of the thing, for me. one of these things is fundamentally a denial, while the other is a discovery. one is a push backward & the other is a moving-forward. & this is the important part & what i am taking as i think about my thesis & my work & why i brought all this up here: examine everything, but only if you are prepared to figure it out in a move forward.
alternately: always be prepared to move forward.
this may be a difficult thing for someone like me, who likes to keep her feet on the ground, who carefully weighs the cost of change, but if i am prepared for a constant speed [as opposed to a constant acceleration] i think i will do better.
i have been reading about three books at once lately, which is not something i usually do but is a necessity due to the physical size of the books & also the places i read. the most rewarding of the three is marshall mcluhan, whom i have been reading in short small bursts for months. the book is bigger than my bag is most days. a month & a half probably. it is the sort of thing i don't want to end because whatever i read from him makes me think in new & exciting ways, gets the cogs in my brain rolling around at top-speed, has my eyes light up over & over again.
sometimes i wish i weren't wired to enjoy intellectual stimulation quite so much. sometimes i think i'd have more fun if that were the case. but i also probably wouldn't be here, so there's that.
but so this is the same thing again. despite being careful & cautious & bad at moving [did i ever mention that my nickname for years growing up was 'accident girl'? it was coined by my kindergarten teacher & stuck for longer than i will admit. that's how bad at moving i am], i love love love love love intellectual progress. this sounds like it could almost be a statement for some non-profit but it is far more selfish than that. i love thinking in new ways & understanding things more fully & being able to see the world in ways i hadn't before. & i am going to keep at this for my whole life, because that is just how i work.
the challenge will be to take all that & make it into something real. something tangible. something that makes sense visually as well as intellectually. something that can have the same effect in a different way. but, see: i can define even that. i can meet a challenge if i've defined it. or at least get as close as i can.
the last thing i posted here was a proclamation of a STOP period. this is probably evidence that the STOP period was successful. i am rested & restless & ready to start up again. so let's go.
i've mostly taken to reading & reading & eating & sitting in the passenger seat & listening & dreaming. having my dreams stolen. this happens in many ways & sometimes i can still keep them & other times i can't.
it's true that i have never been one much for change. i am not a very good traveller. sometimes i get carsick. vertigo. i have overwhelming fits of nostalgia. despite getting very excited about new things & being quick to understand new concepts & learn everything, when it comes to executing big changes, i tend to bristle a bit.
this move is sort of one of those things. i am very excited about it & it is only good news all around & when i am in the apartment i am in love with the space & with everything & i love feeling like i am in love with everything! but the getting there is not easy. i still have not slept a night in the new place for many different reasons all one after another, some of which in & others out of my control. i am in fact writing this from another state entirely.
& i know this is meant to be a design blog & i am getting to that. i am talking about change & how sometimes what seems like it should be a seamless transition is full of stitches that have to be ripped out & re-sewn like eight times before you get it right. sometimes you have to try a thing on inside-out & pin it so it fits better & then do it again. these are metaphors but they are also not.
a few weeks ago already i had a lengthy conversation with someone i respect & admire a lot. the topic came around to evolution & i wondered a lot of things but ultimately came back to my view of life in general, which is: who am i to say that what someone else thinks is any more or less valid than what i think? we could all be wrong. i don't know. the opposition [if i can even call it that; it was far friendlier] made the point that it's detrimental to refuse to accept things that are proven & fact & science & knowledge. it's detrimental to deny things that are fundamentally sound. & it's far more detrimental to deny others the right to believe what they want to believe [which of course i agreed with].
the other day, i read this article in the new york times about gravity & how this one scientist has set out to redefine gravity.
i thought a lot about the conversation i'd had in this light, trying to see how one refusal of belief can be so controversial & negative & how another can be enlightened & exciting & full of discovery. & that was really the key of the thing, for me. one of these things is fundamentally a denial, while the other is a discovery. one is a push backward & the other is a moving-forward. & this is the important part & what i am taking as i think about my thesis & my work & why i brought all this up here: examine everything, but only if you are prepared to figure it out in a move forward.
alternately: always be prepared to move forward.
this may be a difficult thing for someone like me, who likes to keep her feet on the ground, who carefully weighs the cost of change, but if i am prepared for a constant speed [as opposed to a constant acceleration] i think i will do better.
i have been reading about three books at once lately, which is not something i usually do but is a necessity due to the physical size of the books & also the places i read. the most rewarding of the three is marshall mcluhan, whom i have been reading in short small bursts for months. the book is bigger than my bag is most days. a month & a half probably. it is the sort of thing i don't want to end because whatever i read from him makes me think in new & exciting ways, gets the cogs in my brain rolling around at top-speed, has my eyes light up over & over again.
sometimes i wish i weren't wired to enjoy intellectual stimulation quite so much. sometimes i think i'd have more fun if that were the case. but i also probably wouldn't be here, so there's that.
but so this is the same thing again. despite being careful & cautious & bad at moving [did i ever mention that my nickname for years growing up was 'accident girl'? it was coined by my kindergarten teacher & stuck for longer than i will admit. that's how bad at moving i am], i love love love love love intellectual progress. this sounds like it could almost be a statement for some non-profit but it is far more selfish than that. i love thinking in new ways & understanding things more fully & being able to see the world in ways i hadn't before. & i am going to keep at this for my whole life, because that is just how i work.
the challenge will be to take all that & make it into something real. something tangible. something that makes sense visually as well as intellectually. something that can have the same effect in a different way. but, see: i can define even that. i can meet a challenge if i've defined it. or at least get as close as i can.
the last thing i posted here was a proclamation of a STOP period. this is probably evidence that the STOP period was successful. i am rested & restless & ready to start up again. so let's go.
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